'THE RULES OF PARENTING' BY RICHARD TEMPLAR

 In this book the writer has given us 100 rules to us in the great task of parenting.

RULES 1 to 10 which he titled (Rules for Staying Sane)

1.RELAX: Parenting is fun if only we relax about it.

2. NO ONE IS PERFECT: You shouldn’t give yourself too hard a time when you fall too short of the standards you set for yourself.

3. KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOOD AT: Have confidence in your strength.

4.ALMOST ANY RULE CAN BE BROKEN OCCASIONALLY: But important rules must be kept especially when the consequences are dire.

5.DON’T TRY TO BE EVERYTHING: let the children choose their curricular activities they mustn’t do everything.

6. you don’t have to follow every piece of advice you get.

7. IT’S NORMAL TO WANT TO ESCAPE :Especially when your  children get on your nerve.

8.YOU ARE ALLOWED TO HIDE FROM YOUR KIDS: You can stay  away from  your kids to regain your composure.

9. PARENTS ARE PEOPLE TOO: Hang out with friends, have fun once in a while.

10.DON’T IGNORE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARTNER.

RULES 11 TO 20 which he titled (Attitude Rules)

11. LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH: discipline, values and morals are also important

12. EVERY RECIPE NEEDS DIFFERENT INGREDIENTS: at times each child has his own method of training as they differ in their personality.

13. LOOK PLEASED TO SEE THEM ALWAYS

14. TREAT YOUR CHILD WITH RESPECT: If you treat them with respect they will be respectful to others.

15. ENJOY THEIR COMPANY:

16. BEING TIDY IS NOT AS IMPORTANT AS YOU THINK

17. GOOD PARENTING IS A CALCULATED RISK TAKING: do not be hard on them when they make mistakes. People who don’t make mistake don’t make anything

18. KEEP YOUR WORRIES TO YOURSELF

19. SEE THINGS FROM THEIR POINT OF VIEW

20. PARENTING IS NOT A COMPETITIVE SPORT.

RULES 21 TO 30 is titled (Everyday Rules)

21. LET THEM GET ON WITH IT: allow them to make decisions independently

22. TEACH THEM TO THINK FOR THEMSELVES

23. USE PRAISE WISELY: do not praise them when you ought to discipline

24. KNOW THE VALUE OF BOUNDARIES: ‘say no and mean it’.

25. BRIBERY DOESN’T HAVE TO BE BAD

26. MOODS ARE CATCHING : always let your children know when you are not in a good mood

27. YOU ARE SETTING THEIR EATING PATTERNS FOR LIFE: so be careful what you feed them with.

28. COMMUNICATION: always tell your children where you are up to, do not think they are too small to understood.

29. SET CLEAR TARGETS: instead of saying ‘don’t spend so long on that computer’, why not say ‘ you can have two hours a day on the computer’.

30. DON’T BE A NAG: ‘you didn’t shut the door’, is a reasonable reprimand, ‘you never shut the door is a nag.

Rules 31 to 40 is titled (Discipline Rules)

31. PRESENT A UNITED FRONT : You and your partner

32.Kids are always happy when you notice their effort and appreciate them.

33.BE CONSISTENT: kids needs to know what is acceptable or not

34..LIGHTEN UP

35.FOCUS ON THE PROBLEM NOT AT THE PERSON

36.Your children will never take any notice of your threats once they discover they are hollow

37.IF YOU LOSE YOUR TEMPER, YOU ARE THE LOSER

38.Apologise if you get it wrong, you need your kids to regard saying sorry as something they instinctively do

39.Always let them that you love no matter what.

40.RIGHT OF EXPRESSION

RULES 41 T0 50 is titled (Personality Rules)

41. Find out what incentives works for your child

42. Every child should have something they know they are good at.

43.learn to appreciate good qualities in your child

44. look for the similarities between you

45.find qualities to admire in them

46.Let them be better than you

47.Their attitude is as important as their achievements

48.Keep your fears and insecurities to yourself

49 Be careful what you always say about yourself, because your kids are watching you and listening too.

50.Don’t try to have a perfect child.

RULES 51 TO 60 is titled (Siblings Rules)

51. Give them each other

52.Recognize that squabbling is healthy (within reason)

53.Teach them to sort out their own arguments

54. work as a team

55.Let then entertain each other

56.Never compare children with each other

57. Different children need different rules

58.Don’t have a favorites.

59. Make sure that you spend time in as many different combinations and permutations as you can

60.Find out each child’s strength

RULES  61 to 70 is titled (School rules)

61.It is the school’s job to school them but it is your job to educate them

62.School comes as a package, there are things you like about it and things you don’t

63Your child needs to know that you are there for them if things bet beyond their control

64. Bully is always serious but what matters most is how your child feels about it. Teach them to confident about themselves.

65.Teach them to stand up for themselves

66.Put up with friends of theirs you don’t like.

67.Remember you are their parent, not their teacher

68.Don’t always indulge them at the slightest opportunity

69.In the end, it has to be their choice how hard they work.

70. They have to live with their choices

RULES 71 TO 80 is titled (Teenage Rules)

71.Don’t panic. Teenage age is a scary place.

72.For every reaction there is an equal and opposite reaction.

73Give them a voice. Is all about getting your kids to feel involved

74. Never get worried , because you not going to see any evidence in whatever they are up to.

75.Running around after them doesn’t help anybody

76  Don’t stand in front of  a speeding train. Your teenager is going to behave like a teenager no matter what you do.

77. Yelling isn’t the answer

78.Everything comes with strings. The teenage years are the perfect opportunity to learn the relationship between rights and responsibilities

79.Show some respect for the things they care about

80.Adopt a healthy attitude to sex. You can pretty much take it as read that the more you talk about sex (and drugs, alcohol, smoking and all the rest) at home, the more confident your teenager will be in making mature decisions for themselves when the time comes.

RULES 81 TO 90 is titled (Crisis rules) especially when parents are going through divorce

81. Don’t use your kids as ammunition

82.Let them cope in their own way

83.Some kids get over some things  more quickly than some grown- ups

84.the aftershock can last forever. Sometimes you will need to give your child extra support and let them know that you know what they are going through

85.Tell them what’s going on

86.Teach them to fail successfully. Belittling their feelings will make them feel hurt and isolated.

87.Is better to agree than to be right. Justice and revenge can taste very sweet, but surely they can’t be worth  having at the expense of your kids.

88.All of your actions speak louder than any of your words. Your kids will watch how you cope in difficult situations, and they will take that as their cue

89.Make sure they know they are priority no.1

90.you can’t fix everything

RULES 91 TO 100 is titled (Grown –up rules)

91. At age 18 if your kids don’t know how to do basic things at home, is too late.

92.Wait until they ask for advice

93.Treat them as adult. If you want an adult relationship with your adult kids treat them as adult.

94.Don’t try to be their best friend, be their parents

95.Encourage them regardless whether their decision goes contrary to ours

96.Leave the strings off. After the kids leave home try as much not to control their life.

97.Don’t make them feel guilty, your kids owe you nothing, nothing.

98.Remember they still need you.

99.At the end of the day you have done your best, do not blame yourself for whatever perceived failure. Enjoy your life because you have don well.

100.Once a parent always a parent. Your child will always love you, and you will always know it.

 Do you think  this is a great book after all?